Doktor Wakwak by CD Borden: A translation to English

(CD Borden and I are compiling his absurd poems and I’m translating them to English! Here’s another crazy piece)

 

Doctor Wakwak
Translated by Karlo Antonio Galay David

Doc, help me, I told Doctor Wakwak, I’m being chased by my shadow!
The doctor looked around, aren’t you the one who’s doing the chasing?
No! I’m not lying, I told him, I swear, even if all the people who read this poem die.
He gave me a prescription, then he whispered to me in secret: dude, I’m not really a doctor.
I know, I answered, I’m the doctor and you’re the patient.
But he changed his mind: Dude I’m a doctor after all!
Of course you are, I said, Who said you weren’t?
Him! Doktor Wakwak answered, pointing at the hospital
Hey I have nothing to do with that! shouted the hospital, I’m just a hospital!
We were so shocked
the hospital was not wearing any pants.

 

Doktor Wakwak
ni CD Borden

Dok, tabangi ko, akong giingnan si Doktor Wakwak, Gigukod kos akong anino!
Naglingo-lingo ang mananambal, Di kaha ikay nanggukod?
Dili! Wala ko mamakak, miiingon ko, Mamatay pa gani tanang mobasa ani nga balak.
Gihatagan ko niyag resita ug gihunghongag sekreto: Dili bitaw ko doktor, bay.
Kahibaw ko, ako siyang giingnan, Ako ang doktor, ikaw ang pasyente.
Apan nausab ang iyang hunahuna: Doktor bitaw ko, bay!
Doktor bitaw, misulti ko, Kinsay nag-ingon nga dili?
Siya, mitubag si Doktor Wakwak samtang gitudlo ang ospital.
Wa koy labot ana, uy!, misiyagit ang ospital, Ospital ra intawon ko.
Hala! Nakuyawan ming duha . . .
Ang ospital walay gisul-ob nga sapot.

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