(One of the activities I have for my students in Negros Oriental State University is flash fiction. I make them write stories, with beginning, conflict, and end, in roughly 6 to 9 words. Filipinos are natural storytellers, and the Visayan is probably the most prodigious in that endeavor. My students had fun coming up with startling and often lurid stories. I provide some of the best of them here, with my at times liberal translations)
Red Horse, ikaw ba ang amahan ning akong gisabak?
[Red Horse (a Filipino beer brand), are you the father of this thing on my lap?]
– Francis Hiro Leduna
“Ne, magkano ba?”
” Limang daan”
“Halika, pasyal kita.”
[“Ne, how much”
” Five hundred”
“Come, I’ll walk you around.”]
– Angelo Sastre
Gitambagan sa balangaw ang usa ka panganod nga gahilak
[The rainbow consoled the weeping cloud]
– Maricon Rondera
Nanguyab siya. Gisugot niya. Karon gahilak ang baye.
[He courted her. She accepted. Now, someone’s drowning in her tears.]
– Alexia Marie Galido
“I do,” she said after looking at the best man.
– Michelle Dequin
Urgent Hiring! Baby-maker for HOME Construction. Please contact: Mr. John Patrick Pausal (0906_____)
– Divine Grace Dael
She used to eat banana. Now she’s pregnant.
– Marvin Salvoro
I was in my room watching porn then gikuhit kong mama [then mom made kuhit me]
– John Wesley Salvoro
We kissed and I lost my virginity
– John Khiendrick Ragay
Si Juan naghulat sa bayabas mahulog sa iyang baba samtang nagdula og DoTA.
[Juan waited for the guava to fall into his mouth while playing DoTA]
– Kevin Troy Culi
Gang, tagpila gani ang pregnancy test?
[Gang, how much is a pregnancy test again?]
– Jake Lajato
Gadali-dali og padalagan ang driver sa ambulansya, kay pan-os ang iyang nakaon ganiha.
[The ambulance driver drove in a rush, because what he ate earlier that day was spoiled]
– Myrisse Ontolan
I gave them gold and they gave me beans.
– Jonathanbill Sinco
I turned on the lights. Finally, the bed stopped moving.
She jumped from the building, then the director said “cut!”
– Alvin Noay
Gihulaman si nanay sa pikas balay
(Mother was borrowed by the house across)
Naglakaw ang saninang puti
(What was walking was a white shirt)
– Meldrid Guades Silva
Gatuo na kog kita rang duha, kakinsa man ning laing bra?
(I thought it was just the two of us, but who owns this bra?)
Ako gabigti sa pisi. “Bayuta ka! Ikaw pa ang nibiya!”
(I am dangling from the noose. “Faggot, the nerve of you to leave me!”)
– John Patrick Pausal
Babe, lagot! Panty ko yung sinampay ng nanay mo.
[Babe, oh no! That’s my panty your mom is hanging on the clothesline.]
At sumigaw si itay, “Pre, iputok mo sa labas.”
[And then father shouted, “Pre, blow that load outside.”]
– Seth Abraham Singuit